Have you felt out of place and not quite sure how you fit in with other women, what your gifts and strengths really are? Have you ever wondered why you have a closet full of clothes that never seem quite right? Have you been searching for peace and self acceptance for you - just the way you are?
I'm so excited to share this special offer with you. You can learn what Beauty Type you are for FREE. Normally the Beauty Profiling course is $39.00 but now it's being offered for free. Go here
to learn all about Beauty Profiling. I'm a type three and learning this about myself has been so freeing. Accepting that I'm a rich, dynamic, edgy woman has made all the difference and has been a lot of FUN! I think my secondary type is a one so having fun is also very important for me. Go watch the video and see for yourself how amazing this information is. Knowledge is power!
I hope you take advantage of this great offer
and I promise you won't be disappointed that you did. I'd love for you to share what you've learned once you watch the video, so come back and leave a comment about what you discovered about your Beauty Type.
Since I haven’t been writing as much this last year, I thought I’d give a recap on the ten top things that happened in my life or things I discovered about myself in 2011.
1- My hubby and I got back together in February after a 9 month separation
2- Our family moved from a small 3 bedroom duplex into a spacious 6 bedroom house
3- I have space now to decorate and have been busy making things for our house
4- I discovered a love for repurposing and fixing up “old” furniture – making trash into treasure
5- Received a Silhouette SD for my birthday and am finally an owner of a die cut machine and have been busily making things to beautify and organize our home
6- Realized again my love for biking and hiking and went on many excursions with my family, including Timpanogos Cave with all six of our children
7- Witnessed tremendous growth in my relationship with myself, my husband, and my children
8- My little Miriam finally started walking
9- Found greater love and acceptance of myself and others as well as gained more peace in my life
10- Helped facilitate a long awaited reunion between father and son
I'm excited for 2012 and new year of blessing, growth, and joy! My goal is to write more this year, but I'm not committing to any number of posts, just more than last year! Happy New Year to you all!
I reached a new milestone this last week…I had a birthday and turned 30! Turning thirty definitely gave me a cause to think about my life up to this point and to think about the next thirty years (as Tim McGraw would say).
Honestly though, I laid in the bed the night before my birthday and cried for 45 minutes. My hubby says it was over an hour, but who’s counting anyway?? So yes, I had a lot of tears…some premenstrual if I think about it, but really I cried A LOT that night. I’ve gotten teary eyed the last few months just thinking about my upcoming birthday. Turning thirty is a milestone – a rite of passage so to say. A farewell to those early adulthood years. The twenties were fun but the thirties mean you really are an adult now. I don’t know if thirty says all those things, but I guess that what it means to me. I didn’t even really know why I was crying most of the time, but the tears just flowed. It was a much needed release as I move onto the next decade of my life.
I’ve been thinking about my life and the experiences I’ve been through. I’ve had others comment to me about some of my life experiences being labeled as “mistakes.” And this thought of mistakes has been on my mind quite a bit over the past weeks. Let me just say that I don’t believe in mistakes. I believe in growth, knowledge, wisdom, and experience that shape and mold who we are becoming. I wouldn’t take back any of experiences and trade them for something else…ever. I wouldn’t be who I am today and who I am becoming without the experiences I’ve been through. I think back to who I was when I turned twenty and I’m completely different now! Thank goodness! If I was the same person as I was then than that wouldn’t be very exciting or challenging would it?? If I could have seen who I am today when I was twenty I would have judged myself so harshly. I had a narrow view of the world around me and a harsh, condemning lens that I view everyone including myself. As I look back to that young twenty year old girl that I was then, I forgive her for her judgments and I love her and what she has taught me. I am grateful for that woman who held so strongly to her convictions as the best she knew how. I’ve learned in the last ten years that in order to heal and to progress towards sanctification and a life of love, peace, and joy – then I need to forgive. I forgive myself. I love who I am today and am excited about who I will be when I’m forty. I hope that I will have as much growth and life experience in the next ten years. Here’s to the thirties!
I’ve been absent on my blog for quite some time now. I’ve had several people ask me why I stopped writing and all I can say is I got to a point that I didn’t feel that strong push and desire to write. My family has been more of a priority than anything but I do realize that for those who don’t know my story well would appreciate an update.
A lot has happened over the last year and I recognize the need for me to continue to express myself and share my story. If you have followed my blog and have read all my stories please be patient with me as I continue to gain clarity in my writing as I share my most recent processing.
The main difference in my life since February is my getting back together with my husband, JD. This last year has been outlined with a lot of growth and progress on both of our accounts. I’ve share many personal details about our story and if you recall from my posts last summer I was filing for divorce. I got to the point where I was really done and did go forward shedding the old scripts and patterns I had created in my marriage. The divorce process was almost complete and I felt peace in my decision to move forward. However, in February when I least expected it, JD came back into my life as a man who had been humbled and was on his road to recovery. He had been through a lot and was still trekking onward despite the difficulties that he faced. I saw in him a new man. I saw him through the eyes of Christ. I saw in him a man who truly loves me but he had gained a conviction to continue his path of healing no matter what. I decided on an unexpected, beautiful and tender day that I was going to stay with my husband and that I was going to be the woman by his side. The grace of God prevailed in our marriage and we shared many precious experiences together that I will cherish forever. I thought my heart was closed to him for good but the tender mercies of God showered our family in those first days and weeks when we got back together. JD is the perfect mirror for me and the perfect man for me to work my issues out with. Although he has his issues and his addictions he has continued to show up for me emotionally and has revealed God’s love for me in a profound way that I have never felt before.
It may sound cheesy and many people don’t agree with my decision or understand but what it comes down to is LOVE. I am fully aware of my his issues which is completely different than when I was blind and did not want to see his dark side or my dark side for that matter. We are conscious in our relationship, something that I don’t believe most people in our culture even understand. Something I didn’t understand before we went through the last several years together. We are working on our relationship daily. We are working on ourselves daily. We are seeking guidance and counsel, and receiving Divine support as we are committed to one another on the Red Path.
I believe that the power of repentance and forgiveness changes lives. Sometimes the path of change looks different than we think it should but I believe as we give up the control and let LOVE and GOD into our hearts, we will be guided. We will be directed as our lives unfold into what it is that our intentions are. So I admit and finally getting my thoughts out on this path I’m on – that I’ve been guided back to my dear JD. The man I love and adore. The man who has shown me a level of love and tenderness that I never knew. The man who knows me better than anyone and still patiently waits for me to soften my heart to his love. The man who teaches me and reminds me daily of who I am and that the most important thing is LOVE.
I've shown up to many events with Carol Tuttle at the Center for Living Your Truth over the past two years. If you've been reading my blog you will know that I love and support her Energy Profiling and Dressing Your Truth
programs. I was honored to have her invite me yesterday to be a guest on her internet radio show. Here is the interview if you want to check it out. If you have questions feel free to ask me, I love talking about this information! If you don't understand type 3's it'd be a good interview to listen to. Thanks Carol for supporting me and giving me a chance to speak my truth!
This morning I had the opportunity to listen to the morning show with Lisa & Eric
and heard them talking about how we are made to crave God. We are made with a desire to learn more of Him and to connect spiritually to our Maker. I thought this was a great insight and took a mental note to check their website to learn more.
Lysa TerKeurst wrote a book called, Made to Crave
, which is about satisfying our deepest desire with God, not food. I wasn’t necessarily interested in the part about food, but rather the idea of trying to fulfill any desire with anything other than God. On the Lisa & Eric show they are talking about this topic and the book throughout the month of January. I found so many amazing insights and quotes that I want to share the following two quotes.“God made us capable of craving so we’d have an unquenchable desire for more of Him, and Him alone. Nothing changes until we make the choice to redirect our misguided cravings to the only One capable of satisfying them.”“Are cravings a curse or a blessing? The answer to that depends on what we’re craving. And what we’re craving will always depend on whatever we’re consuming…either the object of our desire or God and His truth.”
I had a personal experience the other day that really hit this last thought home to me. “Desperation breeds defeat
.” However, God has promised us that we will not be tried more than we can bear and with Christ we can rise above all temptations. (1 Cor. 10:13
) I love this thought because the other day I was feeling a lot of desperation and instead of turning to God and rising above the moment, I did something that in the end didn’t bring me closer to God. I’m grateful for the experience because I learned a lot about myself. I’m learning what the scriptures say that God provides an escape for us in order to bear our trials. For this truth I am so grateful!!
If you haven’t downloaded the free song by Jason Gray, you still have a chance to do it before January 17th. Click here
to get it free on iTunes.
I’ve talked about Energy Profiling before, but I am just so excited to share with you a new resource Carol Tuttle and her team of experts came up with to help women learn the truth about who they are. I’ve referred to Energy Profiling and to anyone confused, Beauty Profiling is exactly the same thing…Carol is going more with the term Beauty Profiling now. If you would like to learn more I have a link that is a new part of the Dressing Your Truth Share Program. You can go to: http://christa.DressingYourTruth.com to learn more or you can click on the picture below. Have fun with your beauty profiling experience and I hope you’ll return and tell me about your journey as you discover the truth of what type of woman you are. And one more thing, I just want to remind all women that you deserve this experience and there is no price tag on gaining clarity about who you really are!
* *I wrote the majority of this post months ago when I was coming to terms with the end of my marriage. At that time I had been doing a lot of online research about the behavioral tendencies of a sex addict. The following thoughts are my feelings and personal experience of being married to a SA. **
No real recovering is happening if a sex addict isn’t committed to learning why he acts out, avoids those triggers that are causing that behavior and learning what caused the addictions in the first place.
I married a sex addict and as a recovering spouse I have committed myself to learning why he acts out, honing in on his triggers, and attempting to help him face the cause of his addictions. I have been the one working on facing the reality for over the past year and working through it. In order to make a relationship work, and for a SA to heal, he/she should be the one doing all those things. I have provided a safe place for healing and have given him tools and a way for him to heal, but he hasn’t chosen to do so.
I admit there have been attempts on his part, but there has yet to be COMPLETE honesty and transparency – no evasiveness, denial, half truths or defensiveness. I soon realized however, that if he can’t be honest, he can’t be committed to his recovery as I thought he was.
I've been pretty much nonexistent on my blog the past month or so. I haven’t gotten on my blog, checked my stats, or written much of anything. I'm still struggling with wanting to speak the truth. I'm dealing with a lot of wounded energy and I feel like I'm going to get in trouble if I keep expressing myself. On one level I know this isn't true, but for a deep part of me, I feel like just ending my blog all together. I know these feeling stem from my childhood abuse and it’s common to feel like you are going to get in trouble if you’ve been abused. I keep praying to work through this energy, but I'm also learning to accept that this is where I'm at right now and not beat myself up. I'm learning what it means to be gentle on myself and to not put undue stress on myself because of my expectations. It’s just not helpful for me to be upset at myself because I’m not where I want to be. Expectations are a big thing for me and something I’ve been working through a lot lately. I feel overburdened with the expectations I feel from myself as a women, mother, friend, expectations from my family, and society in general. As women we feel as though we have to meet certain expectations or we are not good enough. I have had to release a lot of unnecessary expectations on myself the past several years and let me tell you it’s freeing to do so. I never knew until I started to take accountability for my life how much I was burdened by expectations. When it comes down to it in all honesty, God loves us no matter what! It’s ok to ease up on ourselves…to breathe…to relax… to lighten up. So this blog post is to further affirm that it’s ok that I’m working through a lot of energy lately and it’s ok that I don’t feel like blogging or speaking my truth for that matter.
The funny thing is though as I write this, I start to feel that excitement and spark of wanting to speak up and express myself. It’s also sinking into those wounded parts of me that it’s perfectly safe to speak the truth. It’s safe to express myself in ways that are meaningful to me. When it comes down to it, I know I have to continue writing my blog because it is meaningful for me to do so. I have no expectation of when I’m going to post next, but it feels good to get my thoughts out.
Just got this in my inbox from Yehuda Berg. Love it!
"When our ego flourishes, we are disconnected from God.
When our ego swells, our need for glory is not far behind. We fret over what others might think of us as our search for approval and recognition grows disproportionately large.
Here’s a trick. When you find yourself on the quest for approval over and over again, remember that your ego, which is fueling your quest, is actually Edging God Out—literally. You are disconnecting yourself from infinite love and fulfillment. It’s time to give your ego the boot and let God in."