I reached a new milestone this last week…I had a birthday and turned 30!  Turning thirty definitely gave me a cause to think about my life up to this point and to think about the next thirty years (as Tim McGraw would say). 

Honestly though, I laid in the bed the night before my birthday and cried for 45 minutes.  My hubby says it was over an hour, but who’s counting anyway??  So yes, I had a lot of tears…some premenstrual if I think about it, but really I cried A LOT that night.  I’ve gotten teary eyed the last few months just thinking about my upcoming birthday.  Turning thirty is a milestone – a rite of passage so to say.  A farewell to those early adulthood years.  The twenties were fun but the thirties mean you really are an adult now.  I don’t know if thirty says all those things, but I guess that what it means to me.  I didn’t even really know why I was crying most of the time, but the tears just flowed.  It was a much needed release as I move onto the next decade of my life. 

I’ve been thinking about my life and the experiences I’ve been through.  I’ve had others comment to me about some of my life experiences being labeled as “mistakes.”  And this thought of mistakes has been on my mind quite a bit over the past weeks.  Let me just say that I don’t believe in mistakes.  I believe in growth, knowledge, wisdom, and experience that shape and mold who we are becoming.  I wouldn’t take back any of experiences and trade them for something else…ever.  I wouldn’t be who I am today and who I am becoming without the experiences I’ve been through.  I think back to who I was when I turned twenty and I’m completely different now!  Thank goodness!  If I was the same person as I was then than that wouldn’t be very exciting or challenging would it??  If I could have seen who I am today when I was twenty I would have judged myself so harshly.  I had a narrow view of the world around me and a harsh, condemning lens that I view everyone including myself.  As I look back to that young twenty year old girl that I was then, I forgive her for her judgments and I love her and what she has taught me.  I am grateful for that woman who held so strongly to her convictions as the best she knew how.  I’ve learned in the last ten years that in order to heal and to progress towards sanctification and a life of love, peace, and joy – then I need to forgive.  I forgive myself.  I love who I am today and am excited about who I will be when I’m forty.  I hope that I will have as much growth and life experience in the next ten years.  Here’s to the thirties!